My mother just makes me so mad sometimes! She says to me "eventually you'll get over your crush and move on." Crush? She thinks my feelings for Josh are just a crush? I'm in love with him! It's not a crush! She is always trivializing what Josh and I had. I don't know if she does it because she thinks it will make it easier for me to move on without him, or if she really has some sort of weird problem with the fact that I love the guy. It's so annoying. At least Aunt Lu gets it. She understands that what I feel for him is in my heart and not in my head, and it's not so easy to get over.

I'm going to Lauren's birthday party tomorrow. It's going to be hard. I don't know how to act, what to say or what to do when I see Josh. It's going to be so weird. I really hope I can keep it together. This week hasn't been as bad as it was when we broke up in December, but I wasn't forced to see him back then so I have no idea how things are going to go. Send me good vibes tomorrow afternoon. I'll need them.