Yesterday I was feeling really good about my talk with Josh. But today I'm feeling kind of weird again. We talked about why we broke up - but not the things that lead up to it. I'm not sure if that even makes sense.

He said that he didn't want to break up. He just wanted to take a break because he was afraid that we were fighting so much and that things would get broken beyond repair if we kept going the way we were going. We spent most of our night talking about that, but we didn't talk about Jordan or Laura and they were part of the problem. That's what worries me.

The thing is that before he got back on the train he pulled me into his arms and kissed me and I completely forgot about all the problems. As soon as I'm close to him I'm just not thinking, and that can be dangerous. I don't want us to mess this up so badly that we become what Josh was trying to avoid - two people that hate each other.

Then I think about what Natalie says - that my expectations lead to my experience. She told me that I should stop looking for monsters under the bed and just be happy that the guy I love wants to be with me. Maybe she's right. I just don't know.

I could sit here all night going on and on about this but I promised Molly I'd see a movie with her. I should sign off and get ready and be happy that I can escape into a movie for a few hours.