I've been listening to the Barbara Lewis songs as Ron suggested. I found two that I like and one of them will be perfect for Josh's return. It's called "Hello Stranger" and I want to dedicate it to him when he gets back. In the song the singer expresses how happy she is that her love is back, and I know that's how I'm going to feel.

So I hate to admit it, but ever since my ballet teacher told me to lose a few pounds I feel disgusting. Last week at this time I thought I looked pretty good and now I think "ick" every time I look in the mirror. I know it's all in my head. I mean, we all have things about ourselves that we hate -but I wasn't this harsh on myself until my ballet teacher made her little comment.

I was talking to JD about it. He said, "you're not a ballerina - you're a ballroom dancer." I think that was supposed to make me feel better? All of the women in my ballet class are supper skinny. I guess I should say that they are long and lean, but they look like you could knock them over with a feather. I know in my head that I look good and that I'm healthy, but I can't stop thinking that I look bad because of that stupid comment. How dumb is that? Why am I letting one person's idiocy get to me so much?

So now I'm not looking forward to going to ballet tonight. I wish I could quit. I would rather take any other class anyway. But I know that ballet will help my posture, my frame and my extensions. I am loving my Fox Trot classes though and we're almost finished with the Silver Level syllabus. We're deciding whether to go to the Gold Level or whether to do the Tango at the Silver Level.

So how pathetic is it that I walk around all day wishing Josh would come home? I need to get a gripe. Seriously. This is just sad now. He'll be home in two months. I just need to suck it up for a few more weeks. I just want to get things settled. We only had 2 and a half weeks to be together before he left. I want him home so that we can really be together. I just want him here.