Aunt Lu came to take me out to dinner tonight. I ended up sitting at the table crying. It was horrible. I'm so embarrassed. The only good thing is that we were sitting in a corner where no one could really see us.

How am I going to get over him? I love him. I want to be with him. I want to see those beautiful, shiny, blue eyes of his looking back at me the way they used to. I want that smile that tells me everything is going to be alright. And those arms...I want those arms wrapped around me. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stop thinking about him. He has become such a part of me, and left an indelible mark on my heart that can't be erased.

But what does it matter what's on my heart when he has it anyway? He's walking around New York City with my heart in his hands, probably partying, having a good old time, maybe collecting a few more hearts while I sit here with a chest that would be empty if not for the scare tissue he left behind.

Saturday feels like a lifetime away. All I want to do is get on that plane to Sarasota and leave as much of Josh behind as I can.