I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so frustrated and I just can't take it. I just logged off IM because the conversation I was having with Josh was going quickly downhill.

It started last night when we went out to dinner. We ran in to Jordan and Josh was a complete jerk to him. I don't understand why Josh feels so threatened by him. I have no romantic interests in Jordan and still Josh feels like he's a threat!

If anyone should feel angry or threatened it's me with that Laura girl hanging all over him. On Thanksgiving she and Jen tagged along to the Macy's parade with us and she was making eyes at him the whole time. I didn't freak out. I didn't cause a commotion, but it annoyed me and now I'm really fired up because he keeps harping on me about Jordan! GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I'm so annoyed.

And then just now we're on IM and he was asking me what I did after class today. I said that I stopped by the dance studio and he started grilling me on if I saw Jordan, if I'm going to continue dancing with Jordan. I finally told him that I wasn't going to fight over IM and logged off.

I just can't keep fighting with him. I want what we used to have...I used to look at Josh and he knew what I was thinking. Now it feels like I could right a book, word-for-word detailing every thought and emotion and he still wouldn't get it.

How did we get here? That's what I don't understand. How did something so right go so wrong? We can't seem to be together, and yet the thought of being apart is too much to bear. Last night I was lying in bed thinking back on our relationship. All of the times he's showed up for me...all of the sweet words, sexy smiles and flirty eyes...all of the secrets I've told him...and it's come to this, frustration and tears and an aching that won't go away.