I spent 16 hours at work yesterday. I wasn't "working" all of those hours, but I still wasn't happy to be there. Josh and I were supposed to rehearse last night, but we had 2 lifeguards call out sick, and Henry was ill so Josh had to go in and cover for people. By 7:00 we were able to close one of the pools so that he could work on the dance with me in the office.

We ended up staying there after closing and rehearsed in the dance room that we have for the camp. We had a good rehearsal and I think he's ready for tonight. We both feel a lot better about this dance compared to the East Coast Swing.

The only weird part about it is the romantic aspect of the dance. I feel weird. I'm pretending that I don't have feelings for him, so therefore, I have to pretend that I'm pretending that I do have feelings for him. It's so confusing! We do a move where I'm facing away from him and he comes up behind me and we sway for a few beats. Every time we do it, I want to melt into him. And then I touch his face at one point and every time I do it I want to kiss him. The worst part is that it's my choreography so I have no one to blame but myself!

And then last night, after working on our routine, Josh was scrolling through the playlists on my iPod. I have some dance related lists: Swing, Tango, Cha Cha, Rhumba, etc. They aren't all strict tempo, but you can dance to them. So he stops at Rhumba and tells me that he wants to try dancing the dance itself and not our routine. I was thrilled because I really want him to learn the dance and not just the choreography. He picked "Hungry Eyes" from the list (also a Mambo song), and we started to dance. He was actually pretty good. He could use some work on leading, but his footwork was good and he knew the steps.

I told him that I was impressed. He actually could Rhumba! It was great. We danced to several songs and I could see his form improving with each one. I think understanding the dance and how it works outside of a routine made him realize why I'm always yelling at him to drop his shoulders and maintain the frame.

After a few songs, the song "Take My Breath Away" came on and about half way through it, he broke the frame and put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. I said, "I don't think this is the Rhumba." He told me he wanted to dance without thinking and pulled me even closer. I knew we were too close but I couldn't resist so we slow danced to the end of the song. Fortunately (or unfortunately!) that was the last song on the play list so we decided we should call it a night.

When I got home all I could think about was being that close to him. I can't let myself think like that! We have a pact that there will be no romance while we are competing. I told myself I'd just shake it off, but when I got to work this morning I saw him standing outside talking to Laura. I swear I felt some of those unsettling jealous feelings bubbling up to the surface.

I cannot allow this. I cannot allow myself to feel for him in any way that is going to result in me crying my eyes out. I have to remember that the only romance we're going to have this summer is on the dance floor. The Rhumba will be over tonight and then we do the Waltz - another romantic dance - but after that we're in the clear. I think it's Cha Cha and we don't have to gaze into each other's eyes or touch each others face to do a convincing Cha Cha!