It's been a busy week of non-stop rehearsals for the 4th of July show. Today was my day off and I spent it teaching Josh the routine for our first dance. The dance is the East Coast Swing and the song is "The Morse Code of Love." Things are...how do I put this? He's driving me nuts!

Maybe I should rewind a few days. The 4th of July was crazy. I think I started running around to get things ready on July 1st and didn't stop until 11:30 p.m. on the 4th! In addition to the July 4th celebration, I had to get Josh started on the swing routine so there was no time for anything.

The 4th of July party went really well. The games, the food, the activities were a huge hit. Our American Music show was awesome. Jennifer and Lauren did a fantastic job of getting the kids involved in it. I convinced J.D. to do a dance to "Rock Around The Clock" with me that really got the crowd going. I also spent a few hours with Terry at the kissing booth. He was there for the girls and I was there for the guys.

Fireworks went off around 9:00. Natalie and Arie (visiting from Florida) came to watch with me. The three of us sat together, eating ice cream and watching the show. I think I probably watched Josh more than I watched the show. He was sitting with our friends and his "groupies" (AKA Tanya and Laura). I caught his eyes a few times and then finally he waved and I felt embarrassed that he'd caught me looking so many times.

After the fireworks were over, Henry and I went into his office and started counting up the money we made (it all goes to a camp scholarship fund). I was so tired I was delirious at this point. All I know is that Henry left and Josh came in to help out. He mentioned the kissing booth and told me he wanted to make a contribution but was afraid it would break our pact. I remember mumbling something about it being for a good cause, and the next thing I knew he was dropping a dollar in the jar and kissing me.

I think it lasted all of two seconds, but suddenly the air was more charged in that little room than outside. We looked at each other for a minute not sure what to do and then he pulled a five dollar bill out and dropped it in the jar and said something about the next kiss far exceeding a dollar. He pulled me close and kissed me again. It felt like it went on forever, but when we heard Natalie and Arie coming, he pulled away and it seemed so short.

Josh made a quick exit when they walked in. They didn't see us kiss but Nat knew. I tried to laugh it off when she questioned me but she shook her head and said, "there are more fireworks in here than outside!"

So that was the 4th of July. The next day was the first day Josh and I had to work on the routine for the East Coast swing. Things were awkward between us. We made a pact: no romance, no talk of romance, no talk of feelings, NOTHING. So we couldn't talk about the kiss that never should have happened.

The other problem was that he was really impressed by the dance JD and I did to "Rock Around The Clock." We did a Jive with a lot of lifts, and Josh wants to do that. I keep trying to explain to him that 1) We are doing East Coast Swing, not Jive; 2) JD has been dancing his whole life so he can do a more complicated routine, and; 3) Even if Josh was at JD's level, the rules say, "no lifts." He just won't get it into his head. He is so stuck on the whole idea of flipping me around in the air, that he can't focus. And I can't focus, because I'm still thinking about that stupid kiss - that never should have happened.

Natalie asked me last week how I was going to dance with Josh. She said she thought it would be tough because there will be so much physical contact. I told her I'd be fine when he touches my arm, or my back or my hand. I can even handle him touching my face. Problems will only start if he touches my heart...and right now I'm so terrified that will happen.