I'm having another night of tossing and turning. I had a weird conversation with my father earlier. He called to say "hi." My father never calls to say hi. I just can't stop thinking about it. Something has changed. Maybe it's the divorce. Maybe he's realized what drinking has cost him. Maybe he doesn't want to lose me too. Whatever it is, he's been so much better to deal with. I almost like him.

Natalie and I are trying to figure out what to do with ourselves this weekend. It's going to be hard to top flying halfway across the country for a quick getaway. I wish we could do it again though. It was so nice to be away.

I keep dreaming about being in South Dakota. I see the Black Hills and Mt. Rushmore. That trip across country was a big thing for me, and South Dakota is where I realized I would be okay regardless of my relationship (or lack there of) with Josh. I think I'm dreaming about it as a reminder that I am going to be able to get to December without going crazy.

Now don't get me wrong. I am anxiously awaiting the Christmas music, the cold December air and the snow...anything that symbolizes the return of my love, but I don't want to spend these months pining and wasting my life away. I have to keep living and experiencing so that I'm not some boring and desperate girl for Josh to return to. He's across the ocean experiencing life and I need to do that too. I want to have stories to share when he gets back.

Now if I could only get some sleep so that I'd have enough energy to get out there and do things. I should try again. Tomorrow's Friday but it's still and early morning...