Who was it... AT&T that said, "reach out and touch someone?" Well, I'm sorry, AT&T, but the telephone does not replace having the person you love here with you. The telephone doesn't put it's arms around me. The telephone doesn't have the most beautiful eyes that say so much more than words. The telephone isn't warm. The telephone may transmit tender loving words but there's no warm breath in my ears when I hear them.

I miss my boyfriend. I miss him so much. I miss his eyes, his arms and his smile. I'm only two weeks into these four months of torture and I can't take it. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long. I just wish there were a little relief insight.

Maybe it's the past week of no sleep. Maybe it's because my schedule got mixed up yesterday and Josh and I only got to talk for a few minutes. I just want to see him and be with him. I want to be in the same space with him and breath the same air he's breathing. My heart and my mind are thousands of miles away and I don't know what to do with myself.

I need more hobbies or something. I keep telling myself that I have to get out there and keep living. I just feel like I'm failing horribly at it. How do I un "pause" and start to "play" again? How do I get out of this funk?