Faith Hill's song "Cry" has been in my head for the past two days. It kind of describes how I feel. I just wish Josh felt bad about us not being together. I know he did back in April, but now it's like he's moved on without a second thought. I just want him to think of me and miss me, and "cry just a little for me." Is that too much to ask? I've given him my heart and three years of my life and I'm barely 19!

I feel like I've been travelling on this long road of ups and downs and then all of a sudden I hit a dead end, but Josh's road continued. He's moved on. He's put us behind him. I want to do the same but I'm stuck here trying to figure out what to do next. Where do I go now?

I'm trying to put my energy into other things. Today was the first day of camp so I was at work all day yesterday preparing. Things went off well this morning and then I met up with Jen and Lauren to talk about the 4th of July. I also met up with Kevin (counselor of the tennis camp) and played tennis with him. Natalie and I used to play all the time so it was fun to get back out on the court. I just need to refocus myself so that I'm not thinking about Josh.

I'm going to ask Henry if I can have off this weekend to go spend some time with Natalie as she and her dad close on the townhouse in New Jersey. I'm not sure if Henry will go for it, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It will be good to get away from here, and from Josh.