There are times when living next door to the man who has your heart is wonderful. You know, when you're first falling for him, or when you're dating. There are also times when living next door to the man who has your heart really sucks. This is one of those times that really sucks.

I hate looking for his car every time I get home or go out. I hate looking to see if his bedroom light is on. I hate wondering where he is or who he's with. And it's especially hard when he window is directly across from mine. Although, he's had his blinds closed for several days now...part of him freezing me out.

We had a CPR workshop at work today for some of the lifeguards. Josh didn't say a word to me the whole time. Our eyes met a few times throughout the morning but he'd just look away and try to ignore me. Instead he spent all of his time talking to Laura. (Eye roll).

He was just as cold last night. Molly and I had just gotten home and we were standing on the street talking by her car when he pulled up. He got out of the car said hello (more to Molly than to me) and then took off to the house.

It's so annoying. And to think I was going to talk to him about us getting back together! I've never seen him like this. He is acting like such a big baby. I can't stand it. I wish he could just act normal long enough for me to talk to him. Enough is enough - tomorrow I'm talking to him and he's going to listen and stop acting like an idiot!