I spent the weekend with Natalie. We spent all Friday night and Saturday painting the townhouse. Amanda came over Friday night to help us. We had a lot of fun, even though the work was tedious. But I couldn't stop thinking about Josh and seeing him in his play. I felt really bad about not being there. Finally, around 3:00 yesterday afternoon, Natalie was so tired of hearing me talk about it that she decided we were going to go see it.

So last night we saw the show. It was really good and not as weird as I thought it would be to see Josh and Tanya together on stage. He was good - great during the songs - but Tanya really stole the show. She has an amazing soprano voice.

After the show we went out back with Jason (who was also there...I'm wondering if that's why Nat wanted to go...). Jennifer came out first and we talked to her for a little while. She said that she was glad that I was there. A few minutes later Josh walked out. He smiled at me and said, "You came!" And then he gave me a hug, which was totally unexpected, but really amazing. I feel a lot better about things. I think that showing up for him will officially thaw the ice.

I'm going out with Patrick tonight. I think I need to break things off with him. It seems only fair. My head, my heart, are so obviously with Josh. I don't think it's right to continue to see him.