Got an email from Josh last night. He wrote: “I looked up the lyrics to that song. Do we need to talk?”

AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

God, he is so presumptuous – and egotistical – to think the song had anything to do with him (even though it did… but that’s another story!). So I called him and told him that I think he’s full of himself. We started yelling at each other over the phone and then he got quiet.

I sat there for a second and he said, “It is about me. That’s why you are so defensive.” I wanted to jump through the phone and ring his neck. I looked out my window and saw him standing in his room looking back at me. Then he said, “Do you really think that I haven’t felt anything? That I haven’t mourned for you? That my heart hasn’t broken for you?”

I told him that it looked like he had moved on pretty darn easily with Tanya. He gave me a look that I could see all the way from my bedroom, and said, “What are you talking about?” I told him about the kiss and he started to laugh and said, “What you saw was Tony kissing Maria – not Josh kissing Tanya. We were rehearsing for the play.”

Then I told him that it doesn’t matter anyway because I’m dating Patrick and it’s none of my business. He gave me a “whatever” and then we hung up the phone. I collapsed on my bed, feel overwhelmed by the number of emotions hitting me at once. I was furious with him for being so full of himself. I was happy because now I know that his heart has broken for me. I was embarrassed about screaming at him about Tanya. And I was satisfied knowing that Tanya is a co-star and nothing more.

Thankfully, I only saw him from afar today. I worked this morning, came home for the afternoon and then I head back to work the evening hours. He'll be gone by the time I go back. After work I'm stopping by the dance studio to see Mona and go over the applications for the dance contest. I can't wait to get started.

Tomorrow night I'm going out with Patrick and then on Friday I'm heading to New Jersey to spend the weekend with Natalie at her new house! I can't wait to see it!