I don't have a lot of time to write. I'm waiting for Josh to get out of the shower and then we're meeting up with our friends for dinner. It was a long day of rehearsals. Josh and I did get a chance to talk last night.

We were sitting around watching Nat's box set of "How I Met Your Mother." It's a very funny show but I couldn't stop looking at Josh and wondering why he hasn't said anything to me about our kiss. I finally had to get away so I grabbed my iPod and went up to the roof deck.

I was sitting up there listening to Faith Hill's song, "If This Is The End" and feeling bad for myself. Josh walked up and sat down next to me. He pulled one of the ear buds out of my ear so that he could take a listen. Then he looked at me and asked me if I thought this was the end of us. I was trying to fight back tears and he said, "Nic, this is the beginning - the very beginning." So I asked why he hasn't said or done anything since our kiss the other day. He told me that it was because of the pact.

Damn, that pact! I told him that we already broke it, but he said he didn't want to mess things up. He said that he doesn't want us to start things up again on a broken promise. He said he wants to do things right. Then he told me that if we didn't stick to the pact we wouldn't get any rehearsing done because he'd want to kiss me constantly. That made me feel better.

Then he told me we had to go hang out with our friends so that we wouldn't be tempted. I did not want to go back with our friends. I wanted to be alone with him. I said, "I like it here." He said, "I do too - that's the problem." Then he stood up and practically dragged me back downstairs.

So I've compartmentalized my feelings. All day I dealt with Josh, the dance partner. The real test will be tonight because I'm going to be spending the evening with my friends and Josh, the great love of my life.