I was pretty out of it yesterday. I couldn’t focus. In fact I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking about that poor woman. It makes me so sad to think about getting to the point where taking your own life seems like the best option. I really hope that she is being taken care of. I hope that things get better and that she doesn’t try to do it again.

Josh and I rehearsed all day yesterday and then went back to work for a few hours. After we closed the club, Josh told me that I was in need of a little fun. He told me we were going outside to catch lightening bugs. I must have been giving him a strange look because he asked me what was wrong, and I said, “you want to catch bugs?” He started to laugh, grabbed my hand and said, “come on!”

So we went outside and started trying to catch the bugs. I caught one and walked over to Josh and asked him what I was supposed to do with it. He gave me a strange look and said, “Nicole, haven’t you ever caught lightening bugs before?” I told him that it wasn’t something my father would have approved us. He laughed and said, “we should catch one for him and overnight it to Sarasota.”

I don’t know how exciting the bug catching was, but the conversation was good. I asked him why lightening bugs light up. He told me it’s a mating thing. The male lights up and if the female is interested she’ll light up too. I said, “So if you start glowing in the dark, I should take that as a sign?” He looked at down at his body and said, “I thought I was already glowing…just waiting for you to glow back.”

I swear, if I were a lightening bug, I would have been glowing back. In fact, I wanted to run over to him, throw myself into his arms and break this stupid pact once and for all, but the look on Josh’s face had changed. I was about to walk over to him but he said, “Don’t move.”

He didn’t have to tell me. I knew what was behind me. It was our friend, the Little Stinker, and I knew that one false move would result in me taking a tomato juice bath. Not fun. I slowly turned around saw the little eyes staring back at me. He started stomping his feet and I knew I had angered him. Josh told me to start moving slowly away from the skunk. I very slowly started to step backwards but the skunk was still stomping. I kept thinking, “this night is not going to end well.” Then the skunk turned and looked over his shoulder at me. At this point I knew I had to make a choice. I could run and potentially freak the skunk out so much that I’d get sprayed, or run and not get as much of the spray on me. I ran. I ran so fast that I collided with Josh and we both kept running until we were back in the office…unscathed but completely freaked out.

Josh looked at me and said, “so much for no stress, huh?” I looked back at him and just started laughing. I had come face to face with the skunk and had gotten out of it without any harm. Josh started laughing too and we ended up sitting on the floor laughing about the skunk until we realized how late it was and went home.

In a way I was grateful to the skunk. I was so distraught over the suicidal woman that I would have been running to Josh to make myself feel better, and that's not how I want things to be. I want to run to him because things are finally right between us and because I love him. The time is coming. I know this. I just need to wait until the moment is right.