I felt like crap this morning. I tossed and turned all night and my eyes hurt from crying. They are so puffy too. I’m ready for a long nap.

I had to work until 4:00 so I was really dragging all day. Josh was scheduled to go home after swimming lessons but we took a few minutes to talk before he left. I told him about the fight with my mom and how she threatened to take me back to Florida with her. He suggested we cool things off so that I can stay. Not what I wanted to hear! I asked him if he was looking for an out…after all this is the second time this week that we’ve discussed cooling things off. He told me that he didn’t want an out and that I shouldn’t worry about things. He gave me a quick kiss and then left.

I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling annoyed. Annoyed with my mom. Annoyed with Josh for being so blasé about this.

I’m starting to think maybe we should cool things off. Not because of my mom, but because of the fact that he’s going away on vacation in a little over a week and then heading to school. I just think I’m going to be crushed when it happens. So why prolong the inevitable? …But I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t bring myself to turn away because he means so much to me.

When I got home my mom was weird. She apologized for our fight last night and said, “perhaps I overreacted.” WHAT?!?!?!? She flew up here from Florida and now she’s decided that she overreacted?!? I don’t get it. I need a nap. I really need a nap.