I got up the nerve to go talk to Josh before he left on Saturday. It didn't go too well. He just didn't have any interest in talking to me. He was kind of a jerk.

That night I went out with Molly, Kim and Jennifer. It was a girl's night out, and was supposed to be fun but I was upset about things being so bad between me and Josh. We were driving to the restaurant when I got a call from him. They told me not to answer so I didn't and he didn't leave a message. Then at the restaurant he called again and they wouldn't let me answer. Molly said I have to make him sweat.

When we left dinner I checked my message. Molly made me put it on speaker phone so that they could dissect every word and come up with hidden messages. Anyway, he said how sorry he was for being a jerk to me and how he wished we had talked instead of leaving things badly. He said if there was time between getting home from Florida and leaving for New York, he wanted to talk.

He redeemed himself somewhat among the girls. I wanted to call him back but they wouldn't let me. They said I should let him sweat it out until he gets back from Florida. So that's what I'm trying to do but it's torture. I really want to talk to him.

Today at the swim club it was kind of sad. A lot of our co-workers have left for college so it wasn't as much fun. Duncan wants to put me on his three step program for getting over a boyfriend. We start tonight with phase one. Molly thinks it's a scam to get close to me because she thinks he likes me. I hope that's not the case. It's way too soon for another guy, and my heart still belongs to Josh.

Saturday night is the end of the summer bash at the swim club. I hope I'll have fun and not be thinking about Josh the whole time...maybe Duncan's plan will actually work. Sunday is my birthday. I wish I were looking forward to it but I'm afraid I'll be too sad about loosing Josh. :(