Four days and I'll be in NEW YORK! Yippie! I am so excited! I am finally getting to the Big Apple.

The past weekend was good. Aunt Lu came home on Friday. She's still in a lot of pain and is in a wheel chair. She's going to be doing a lot of physical therapy before she'll be back on her feet. My mom is going to stay up here to help her out. It's nice having my mom around.

Friday night we went to the arcade place. It was fun. We ate lots of junk food and played games. Josh and I paired off which we nice for me. We got to hang out and have fun and it felt like old times. Nothing particularly notable happened though.

I had to work Saturday morning at the dance studio. My mom came with me and took a yoga class. I also had to work Saturday night at the dance party that they have.

Molly wanted to learn to Swing dance - which is what we taught Saturday night - so she brought Alex and Josh with her. It was nice because, despite the fact that I was working, they like us to go out and dance so I got to dance with Josh. One of the guys I work with played a slow song just so that I could slow dance with Josh. It was so nice being that close to him again.

Molly and Alex left after the party was over but Josh hung around to walk me home after I helped clean up. The walk home was really nice. It gave us a chance to talk. We talked about Nancy and how she lied to him about me. He asked her about it the other night and she told him that she thought that Tom and I were dating because we were always together. Josh said she was sorry and said it was an innocent mistake. Yeah Right!

I told him that I don't trust her and that I think she had ulterior motives. It got us into a discussion about how he stopped calling or emailing me because he said he didn't want to "get in the way" or "cause problems" between me and Tom. If he considers himself just a friend...why would he think his presence in my life would cause problems? I wondered that but didn't ask him. I just told him that I have missed him, and I wish that we had done a better job at staying in contact. He said he felt the same way!

The rest of the weekend was spent doing holiday things. We went to Uncle Bill and Aunt Linda's house for Easter dinner yesterday.

Today everyone in choir is in choir trip mode. We're all going to be so distracted this week. I asked Josh if he'd come to our hotel to see us while we're in New York and he promised he would. His parents are chaperones so I know he'll be around to see them and Lauren.

Speaking of Lauren, she and I had an interesting conversation on the way to school this morning. She and Molly were ganging up on me about the prom. Molly said, "I think Nicole should ask Josh." Lauren immediately agreed, and I told her that I don't ask guys out. Then she said, "You should ask him. He'll say yes." I didn't say anything else because I don't want her to know how much I like her brother, but something about the way she said it and the look on her face made me think she knows something. I just don't think I can do it. I'd be devastated if he said no. My heart would be broken into a million pieces.

Molly thinks that I should just suck it up and do it. She told me to look at it this way: either he says yes and I have my dream date, or he says no and I feel sad and rejected but I'll finally be able to move on with my life. I know she's right...I just don't know if I'm ready to face that there might be no chance for us. I know I keep saying I'll get over him, but I'm obviously not ready too because I can't let him.