Still thinking about Josh. Jen's heading up to NY tomorrow after school. I'm so jealous. I know she's totally into Terry now, but I still can't help but hate her a little right now. Molly is totally playing on it too. She wants to cut one of Jen's songs from our show. I don't want to do it because it's Jen's big number. She's been rehearsing it and I'd feel bad about cutting it. Even if she is going to spend the weekend with the love of my life.

I just don't know how to let him go. Molly says I should either tell him or forget him. I can't do either. I think part of me likes being sad because it keeps me holding on to him. I know it's stupid but he's "man" in my life that I've ever been able to really count on and now he's gone. It's just so unfair. I want him home. I miss talking to him, hanging out with him, kissing him. God, do I miss kissing him!

I think that kiss on Christmas Eve really did me in. If I didn't know how amazing it could be, I wouldn't be so hung up on him. I guess what they say is true, "a taste of honey is worse than none at all."

I will get over him eventually right? Maybe I should start today. From now on I'm getting over him. By next week he'll be a thing of the past and I'll be moving on to someone new!