I don't know why my mood is so bad this week. I miss Josh more than ever and I just can't get over the fact that he's not here. It's been weeks since he left. You'd think that by now I would have accepted the fact that he's moved on with his life. I just can't get over it. I keep waiting for the "you'll get over it" part to begin, but it never does. I just want him to come home, pull me into his arms and unbreak my heart.

This week is his spring break and I'm disappointed that he's not home. He was in Connecticut this weekend with him family, and now he's in Baltimore for the week and then back to NY on Friday. I got all of this from Lauren. I was very sly about getting it out of her! Maybe I should invest less time in getting his little sister to run down his schedule for me. Maybe I should concentrate on other things.

There's a lot going on this month: our show is the Thursday before Easter. Josh will be home for it. He's playing the ragtime piano at the beginning of the show for us.

The following weekend is our choir trip to New York. You'd think I'd be bouncing off the walls at the prospect of spending the weekend in NY, but all it does is remind me that he's there and I'm here. :(

You see why I can't concentrate on other things? It's so hard not to think of him. And then there's the prom the last weekend in April. All I wanted last year was to be Josh's date and that's all I want this year. I've already told Molly that I'm not going to the prom. If I can't go with Josh, I'm not going. I really don't want to put myself through the torture of trying to look happy with some random guy. I'd rather mope around the house with Aunt Lu. Or better yet, maybe I can convince my parents to fly me down to Florida that weekend. Anything to distract myself.

Well, lunch is over so I should run. It's going to be a busy day. We have rehearsals for the musical this afternoon and then tonight for our show. It's never ending!